The stereotype of love and relationships we have today definitely does not compare to how it was back in our grandparents days. We are surrounded by all different types of love and people you can fall in love with.
I feel like a lot of us adore the idea of a relationship because if your anything like me, you spend countless hours watching romance movies and programmes where it is so exaggerated. You fall in love with the idea of someone loving you that way and doing all the cute things they do. It’s so unrealistic!! Most boys nowadays are clouded by the thought that if they spend time with a girl, they are ‘whipped’ or if they care about a girl, they are a ‘simp’. When did being genuinely happy with someone turn into something so negative?
Speaking from my own experience, I got very carried away with the idea of a relationship and as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, my friends had boyfriends and I hated being the odd one out. When I thought I was close to having something similar, I completely disregarded the way I was being treated and the things that were going on behind the scenes. I started to settle for less without really realising it? We’re all so young and yet we feel like we have to rush ourselves to grow up and be mature. A lot of us get very emotional, (I don’t know how many tubs of ice cream I’ve eaten in the past year lol) we get so invested in someone and find it hard to distract ourselves when it goes wrong.
I used to like a boy who I thought liked me the same way but when I look back on the whole situation, it definitely wasn’t okay! Just because you have history with someone and you’ve grown up together, should never give them a free pass to walk all over you and not show any regards to how you might feel. It’s so easy, especially in this day and age, for people to lie and say things they don’t mean for their own benefit. Please don’t fall for it, it isn’t easy to get over and knocks your confidence a lot. One thing I found difficult was that in my own little bubble, everything was perfect because all I could imagine was this end goal of a perfect relationship however, my friends, family and people who knew the situation, could see how my bubble had burst a long time ago. Don’t settle for less, speak up if you don’t agree with something and always speak to people you trust. My friends made me realise that the excuses I had been making for the way he made me feel were ridiculous and if it had been anyone else, straight block lol!
Aren’t boys groups just so frustrating!! Not sure if you know boys but if you know your friend is playing someone and you sit on the sidelines silent, do not then make comments like “She’s a lovely girl but I feel so sorry for her because she’s getting mugged off so bad.” Ermmmm hello??? Help a girl out fgs ahahaha!!! I spent a long time by myself, asking myself why I wasn’t good enough and what I could do to fit his perfect girlfriend... come to realise, I do not want to be his girlfriend lol!! Self reflection is the holy grail of cutting someone off and loosing bad attachments, analyse the situation and bounce back from it. Don’t plan on getting revenge, don’t try and play them at their own game and 100% do not settle for whatever they think is best! Normalise starting over and beginning a whole new chapter. You don’t have to change anything about yourself...ever!
After a good few years of back and forth, getting over someone and then being involved again, I can honestly say I will never be associated with certain people again. I used to always say ‘right person, wrong time’ for a certain boy but I’ve realised it was never for him, I was looking in the complete wrong place. That was for someone else and I wish I had opened my eyes a lot sooner! (and actually got the confidence to see him a lot sooner :) Girls and boys, we all fantasise over soppy love stories and montages of cute relationships and that’s okay! Your allowed to love love :) Just don’t push your feelings to the side to please someone else! Put yourself first always and never lower yourself to fit the lifestyle of a person who will never understand you. Move on, find someone new and restore your happiness, not necessarily in a boy but in yourself. You’ve got this! Be positive and make yourself a whole lot happier.