For someone who said they were going to be consistent with their blogs in 2021, I am a big liar :) This year has been so crazy already and I needed less time at a screen and more time in the present. I feel like sometimes I’m so caught up in a different world that I forget that I am a person too and social media is not an excuse to hide away from things.
Back in September, my family and I received some news that was very daunting and left us feeling so anxious about the future. One of my family members was taking on the biggest battle of his life and the only thing we could do was support him emotionally but it never made up for the physical pain he was feeling. When someone you love goes through a hard time, you always question why them? Why of all the bad people in the world would you ever pick him? The battle he was fighting was one that I know a lot of families have battled too and hearing their stories and how they coped gave me so much hope that no matter the statistics, success is possible and he can do it. The day I found out was just a normal day, I remember just seeing my body but from an outside perspective and everybody else was just crying around me while I must have had the driest eyes in the room. My friends were worried that I would pretend I wasn’t bothered and then one day, as I usually do, I would feel all of it at once and not reach out to anyone. The big C word is the worst thing in the world and I have the upmost respect to anyone who has family or themselves are fighting it because it is so hard to comprehend.
As you can imagine, having one of the closest people to you fighting each day while you are out having fun and living your life to the fullest, can have you in your head way too much. I almost felt selfish for going out knowing that my family member wants to experience life just a bit more. The best advice I was ever told during this time was that no matter how hard life gets, you just have to keep going and I realised that all I had to do was just be positive and don’t let him down. One of the people who really supported me was one of my best friends Eden, her family member had also battled the c word and hearing how strong her sister was gave me that push everyday that success is possible and not out of sight. She was my rock and I’m so thankful for her. My family member never gave up throughout the six months since he was diagnosed and watching just how happy he kept himself during that time, made me the proudest girl ever and I will admire him every day for as long as I live. You’re probably wondering why I call it the c word and I just cannot bring myself to even give it a name after the destruction and upset it brings to families all over the world. Nobody deserves that, ever.
The past 6 months have been so difficult and there have been tears, laughter and every emotion possible has been felt. My family if they weren’t so close already now are joint at the hip lol! All of my friends reached out on bad times and celebrated on the good and I will forever be grateful for the strong support I had around me because I am a huge believer that it was the positive energy of my family and his strength that gave him the push to keep fighting. Today I had the best news I think I can ever receive and I feel such relief for my family. My family member went into remission and I never thought I would ever hear those words! After all these months of the unknown, we can now stop holding our breathes and take the weight off our shoulders. Even when life seems so horrible, it can be the most beautiful. Just seeing the smile on his face this morning proved to me that this has all been worth it and we are going to make up for so much lost time. I’m just glad we have him back and beat that horrible word!
I have learnt so many life lessons in this situation and I know now that taking things for granted is completely out of the question. Being in a pandemic as well as going through that with your family is awful and can be so scary. My family member has been so lucky and I’m so thankful that he is still here to enjoy life and watch us all grow up because knowing he might not have been, makes me feel so uneasy :( On the other hand, a lot of families have lost family members and friends to the c word and although I will never be able to understand how that feels, I am thinking of you and your family because nobody should ever have to go through that and it is horrible to think of how many good genuine people this world has lost. I hope you are healing and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Aside from all the bad in this world, there is still so much beauty and excitement left. We are all the parts of what makes for an almost perfect place and when you look at the world around you I hope you find peace and happiness in the person you are. Even when the world seems like it is crashing down on you, knowing you love who you’re becoming and the people around you, you can achieve and get through anything. That is your power and it is so much stronger than that horrible c word :)