Recently, I have taken some well needed time away from social media. I haven’t binge watched YouTube videos or scrolled endlessly through my Instagram explore page wasting away the day. All the free time I had, I spent improving my well being and mental state. Admittedly these past few weeks have been a struggle, I think most of us can admit that!
Being a girl is hard. There is constant pressure to act and look a certain way. You’re told from a young age just how beautiful you are, and you believe it until, you meet the wonderful male gender and realise you’re probably not that great. Listen, nobody is expected to look like Kendall Jenner all the time or wake up looking like a goddess like, hello? I wake up with at least five new friends every morning situated all over my face. Oh, the joys of hormonal acne! My Instagram search bar has been scary, it’s all hair by this person and aesthetics by that person. I should get discounts for the number of times I’ve viewed each profile. One of the things I realised from obsessively looking at hair extensions and lip fillers is that I started to analyse myself so much that I found flaws in eventually everything. I started to notice my nose is lopsided and my eyebrows don’t match.. all the while I forgot just how beautiful I am on the inside.
Beauty standards vary all the time, at one point in time being skinny was a trend and then the Kardashians flaunted their hourglass figures and even I started to panic lol! My question is, who exactly are we standardising ourselves to? Other girls? Do we pressure ourselves in seek of male validation? I certainly hope not. Us girls are attention whores; we are flattered by Snapchat story swipe ups and a few likes on our Instagram posts. Our heads grow immensely at the sounds of ‘so fit’, ‘you’re unreal’ and ‘so pretty.’ Noticeably though, we tend to forget all the nice compliments after a while but, god forbid someone points out an insecurity or says something mean, we will never let ourselves live it down! It’s such a shame that so many amazing personalities and beautiful people lose sight of just how special they are. We are acclimatised to social media filters and sinched in waists that we are convinced we aren’t good enough unless we look like that.
I’ve always been someone who given a drunk evening in the girl’s toilets in a sweaty club will spread the love with compliments as if I’ve known these random strangers for years. I love girls supporting girls, we should be building each other up, not assisting with the unhealthy obsession to be something we clearly are not. To all the girls who do gain something from knocking people’s confidence and thinking you’re better than everyone else, serve yourself a nice slice of humble pie and remember that even if you were the most beautiful person in the world, your mindset clearly didn’t catch the memo :) Be kind to others, if you can sense someone is feeling vulnerable, show them some love. If I could tell my 14-year-old self that having spots and resembling a pancake would be the least of my worries, I wish I could have.
I love myself so much more than I did a year ago, I am proud of every achievement, and I embrace every flaw. I might not look like Beyoncé on the red carpet all the time but why would I? I am happy just being me, nerdy and ambitious. Every part of me is what makes me Chloe, if I didn’t obsess over soppy romances or if my nose was smaller, I would lose the makeup of who I am. Granted nobody is perfect and there will always be things you want to change or wish you had; never get too in your head about things that are not worth stressing about. Even though my self love journey is sometimes at a halt, on the days I might not feel beautiful, I have a boyfriend who treats me as if I’m Kylie Jenner herself and amazing friends who never let me go a second feeling down.
So yes, being a girl or a boy even, is sometimes a difficult task. We all feel insecure at times or question our worth but honestly, in the long term it really won’t matter. Nobody will examine your face as much as you do and the mirror may not always be your best friend, but just remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder and only you can truly understand all the things you are that are so unique.
Even on a good day, you might forget to find your confidence but the feeling of not being enough is only temporary and if not yourself, be around positive people who motivate and encourage you. Self love is the best kind of love.